Secrets to Keep

Are there secrets meant to keep or am I simply afraid of exposing myself - my humanity?
Whatever it is that I think is such a dark and dangerous secret, no doubt has been experienced and/or felt by someone else and I am no longer sure that keeping these secrets helps anyone - including me.
For certain, I am ashamed of past decisions and actions, of choices made based on fear rather than greatness. I have dabbled in self-righteousness and for sure even pity - but that is not who I want to be.
The time between secrets is eclipsing - growing shorter and narrower - revealing.
I want to stand strong and unwavering as I expose my soul to the light and I hope with a hope unending that I have the strength and the might.

Soulful

Oh, you who sing the song of mystery - touching the mystic -nurturing the gypsy life inside of me.
Soulful are your words that express human love - human suffering and also human greatness as well as the infinite serenity.
You the singer, the songstress - do not doubt the song you are meant to sing. Search deep in your soul and your heart for the words that breathe life into the heart of humanity.
Sing the sun up and down again. Sing me into the rapture of dreams. Play me a tune upon your instrument so vulnerable and everlasting - so true.
Light up the day and the night with your song and allow me to join in the chorus. Sweet soul sister - the one among us who dares to bare her true beauty - allow me to honor you.

Lost

I know and understand the experience and feeling of being lost. I often feel like a man without a country - as if I am asked again and again to leave all that I know and love behind. To pack a few meager belongings and set off - adrift on an unknown sea - afoot on an undefinable territory fitted with strange images and ways that are unknown to me. Leaving me cold and haunted -having me long for the comfort and safety of a home I don't even know.
Mostly, when I become immersed in lost places and mysterious circumstances, I feel torn between staying to try and figure things out and wanting to wake from a frightful dream.
How can I want to be a leader among men, and at the same time struggle to find my own way?

Electrified

In moments of clarity - of supreme and utter connection to my divine purpose I become electrified.
I become an amplified being capable of extreme courage and determination. I am granted the grace of God and am able to surpass the limitations I once conceived. I gain a type of personal power that is not defined in human terms but comes from the universe conspiring on my behalf. I only wish that this experience was not fleeting and as finite as it feels once it is gone.
Once you experience divine intervention, it seems that nothing else can compare and for me it seems that I am always searching for a way back to this experience. How can a person be privy to a direct connection with the Divine and then spend the rest of their life in search of the reconnection. Somehow, this doesn't seem fair - and when I think this way, I feel like a complainer - like I am not grateful for having had the experience in the first place.
Once you experience the immenseness of divinity - nothing else measures up - I do try to connect to this on a daily basis - I do try to live my life in such a way that I honor the greatness of everything - I try to honor the humbleness of the seed but also want to exhalt the glorious existence of the bursting bloom. I struggle with the fact that God deemed me fit to grant me direct contact with the divine at a time of great need and anxiety, but then has left me to figure out the rest on my own. This is the part that remains a mystery to me .

Dreamer

My dream feels like a star in an extraordinarily big sky.

Each day when I rise, no matter the challenges I face, I must keep my gaze toward the shining - no matter how far away it may seem - the dreamer in me keeps my heart beating and I know I am on my way.

I cannot give up - I must find the courage and summon all my strength.

Dreams give you wings and when things aren't so easy, I wonder -how soon after the wings comes the flying? With wings beating wildly, I continue the journey. I will keep trying to fly to the sun - as my dream and I become one.

Complicated

Some days seem much too complicated.

Complicated by too many things to do - too many things left undone - too many worries - too many regrets - too many thoughts - too many lies - too many lines scribbled upon my face, my heart and my life.

On the complicated days, I struggle to understand what God wants from me - why things seem so hard - why I have been given these dreams and face so may challenges trying to make them come true.

On the complicated days I want to erase some of the complicated lines - smooth things out a bit - clean up and press out the wrinkles, toss out the frivolous and the unnecessary - simplify.

A life less complicated could be nice - but if I truly have chosen these things that make up my life, perhaps I am just not seeing things clearly - perhaps I am worthy and the complications are a case of mistaken identity. Maybe what I need is a new way of looking - an uncomplicated state of mind.

Exotic

I am intrigued with things exotic and mysterious. The lush and vibrant colors - the sensuous appeal. I dream of far-off lands, of unexplored islands, of ruins, caves and caverns, forests, jungles - ancient ways and medieval times.

In my mind's eye I bring forward detailed imagery of these exotic places that exist only in my imagination - or do they?